March 2013
1 post
flat white: i didn't think this would turn out to... →
whiteflat:
ugh my mom creates these vicious cycles. she always makes me do things according to her schedule, then yells at me for always getting in the way of what she wants to do. pretty much, anytime i ask for ANYTHING it’s just me being a selfish bitch. and then she pulls out the old ‘you don’t do…
I’m wearing the fuckwads sweater it’s been THREE YEARS why am I...
January 2013
1 post
December 2012
8 posts
tonight, i have re-fallen in love with the world. as a celebration, i am going to let myself (for the first time in over a year) hope with all of my heart. you have given me nothing tonight, but you have made me the happiest girl alive. goodbye crippling sadness, i am free.
time to just ride.
Tonight, for the first night in a very long time… I feel happy. Not jittery, bubblegum pink teen girl happy, but better. Like I spent the day laughing with friends and talking about books and watching old 60s movies just to collapse in bed and dream about falling in love again someday. And after months of insecurities and inferiority complexes… I love myself.
So this is my formal...
I am taking a step back to steep in my loneliness and let it strengthen me. I need a break from people/feelings.
Oh god like I know you didn’t mean to but you just made everything so much harder why did you have to do that
You’ll never have to convince me to love you. But after all I’ve been through it’ll take a lot of work to get me to let you close
This blog is becoming an outlet for my descent into a depressive madness.
I literally don’t trust anyone and I’m fucking tired of people making me feel worthless so you can all just kiss off cause I do not give even one fuck.
I hate my piece of shit mom I hate my piece of shit school I hate every piece of shit boy of wasted time on and I hate this piece of shit town. Time to spend some quality time with my depression and cigarettes, the only things I can stand anymore.
November 2012
19 posts
It was always you. It might never again be me, but for as long as I live it will always be you.
All I want is a really big hug but I know I won’t let anyone that close.
I deny everything I need in an effort to be strong.
I miss you so much.
I miss how young I was when we first met, how far it was before college and careers and being a grown up.
I miss the feeling I got when we first started talking. That unadulterated joy that the shock of seeing your name on my phone would evoke.
I miss spending every day with you looking at stars and listening to all the cool bands you knew about because you were so much...
October 2012
34 posts
58743) My boyfriend breaking up with me caused my...
3 tags
i just trashed our downstairs throwing every piece of glass i could find against a wall shit how do i clean this up before my parents get home shit shit shit also kill me